Disclaimer: This article is written tongue-in-cheek. Many of the comments below should not be taken seriously. Internet denizens who take it all too seriously and flock to a message board to express their disapproval and draw conspiracy theories from it all enter a verbal agreement to possibly find themselves featured the next time one of these is done. Laugh for a change. Seriously.
Nintendo Debuts New System at E3
Much of the gaming buzz from the recent E3 Expo in Los Angeles came from Nintendo's reveal of the Wii U, the next generation of it's uber-popular Wii gaming console, featuring a unique controller with it's own screen and motion control ability. As they did with the Wii, it did not take long for the competition to come up with similar products. To compete with the Wii U, Sony is expected to introduce the PS Off, while Microsoft is now planning the XBox Yourself.
Duke Nukem Forever Launches
The infamous Duke Nukem Forever finally launched in June. Legendary for being the most delayed vaporware in gaming history, critics were quick to pick up a copy and be heard. Most critics seemed to complain that Duke Nukem Forever, which originally went into production in 1996, felt out-dated, seemingly missing the obvious reason why that could be.
Genesis Really Does Do What Nintendon't
I've often noted that the mainstream media doesn't do fact-checking before airing video game related stories, and I suppose this is the biggest piece of evidence to back that up ever. On a Sunday edition of CBS News, the recent hacker attack on the Sega Pass service was reported by using a photo of the long-dead Sega CD-X and a logo of the now-classic Sega Genesis game console, proclaiming on-screen "Sega Genesis Hacked" during the broadcast. Rumors that gamers hurt by the security breach will receive free copies of Toejam & Earl and Boogerman for their trouble were quickly proven false.
Twin Galaxies Website Goes Down For Days
During the same period as the E3 Expo, the website of famed video gaming scorekeepers Twin Galaxies crashed and remained down in full for several days. In typical message board fashion, gamers within the world of high score competition went out of their way to ensure this technical error was overanalyzed, with questions like "is Twin Galaxies officially dead?" and theories that a gummy substance disqualified the website ran wild. This was to be expected given that no other website in the history of the internet has ever gone down, marking this historical moment in cyberspace. The website did eventually return and has been up and running since, but not before the world record holders of such all-time classics as Jump Bug and Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom took to the streets in panic.
Al Gore Not Interested in King of Kong Sequel
As part of the "Games For Change" summit on Monday, former Vice President Al Gore was quoted as stating "When my then-young children passed me in Space Invaders, I knew I was not destined to be a world champion in games." I, for one, am grateful for his choice. Better to hear him proclaiming that a major ice cap event is coming up than seeing the former VP running around about a killscreen. It also allowed him to be on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno alongside the World Champion cherry pit spitter without risk of an apparent snub.
Feedback: Yes, this column is a case of "trying something new and seeing if it sticks" and yes, it's intended to be taken with lighthearted humor. If you wish to burn me for it or claim it's more than just lighthearted joking about the industry and community that I love, feel free to visit my website at http://www.PatrickScottPatterson.com and yell at me there by clicking on each of my advertising links and doing large amounts of business with them.