Downtoforit X Jokes and References List

[Primebuster]

DownToForit X Joke list.

Episode 1:

Obviously, first and foremost would be the term "DownToForit X" what does it mean? Well, we're scottish, our english dialect is faster paced, and we over pronounce some words, and even underpronounce others, theres hardly ever a happy medium in scottish. DownToForit X is simply "Down to Forward X" or what americans would say "Quarter circle forward X" I.E. the motion you'd use on the Megadrive for a Hadoken in Street Fighter. So now you know, if you didn't already.

You'll notice that in the opening couple of minutes, Prime doesnt really explain anything. He tries to tell RayG what a podcast is and how it's structured. Although true, it's hardly useful; "The podcasts I listen to, they usually have some sort of structure, they'll have a guide on what theyre gonna talk about for the eveing, they'll talk about it and then y'know, they'll finish recording and press stop at the end of it." Keeping in mind, RayG has no earthly clue as to what a podcast IS. This explanation doesn't help whatsoever.

The irony is that RayG begins by typing "Podcast", almost like a script. Which is precisely how the show has been made ever since episode 2. Was it subliminal? Were we driven by some unknown force to create a half hour sketch show? Or was it in our nature to take something half-decent and just make it stupidly epic? I'd say it was the latter.

Podcasting isn't easy, as portrayed by our procrastination only 2 and a half minutes in to the first episode.

A running gag within the show is the D2FX jingle. The small tune appears in every episode, but in every episode the words change. In episode 1, it's the iconic;

"DownToForit X,
it's the thing you do,
on the MegaDrive
for a Hadoken."

During the first segment when we're speaking about fighting games characters, we mention "the colonel" Just to let you know, Paul Eiding is the voice talent behing "The Colonel" from Metal Gear Solid series. He is literally the greatest voice actor on earth... He's the only guy who could get away with using the same damn voice in nearly everything we've heard him in and LOVE it. As opposed to Nolan North who, using his Nathan Drake voice in nearly everything as the protagonist pisses us off. There's something magical about Paul Eiding, something homely and it almost draws you in, he has a voice you desire to hear more of. We <3 Paul Eiding.

Now, the real meat and potatoes of the episode. The Tim Burton interview. What spurred us on to do something so... freakin' nuts and abstract?

I'll tell you...

no...

I'll show you!

That picture single-handedly spurred on this interview. RayG looked up 'Tim Burton' on google and we came accross this image. As soon as I saw it, I instantly said 'allo, ah'm tim burton!' in a cockney english accent. RayG just dropped everything and set up his mic, "We HAVE to do a Tim Burton interview for the show!"

So we did. So much to cover, so instead of paragraphs I'll use bullet points. No actually I'll use numbers. From this interview we can learn that:

1. He wrote and directed Peewee herman.
2. Peewee herman is a manic depressant.
3. Peewee herman DID love to be happy, but died by taking too much medication.
4. There's been more than 1 peewee herman film, and they used the same actor.
5. The things Tim likes to express in his movies are Despair, Depression, Anxiety, Hate, lust, perversion and of course Death, he really really reaaaalllly enjoys death.
6. The cheshire cat's provocative role in the Alice in wonderland movie gives Tim a "bit of a stiffy".
7. Stephen Fry is a well known user of Twitter.
8. Johnny Depp is Tim's "National Treasure". because he's in nearly every single film tim burton does... We honestly think Tim would be completely and utterly lost without Depp and Elfman.
9. We thought it'd be funny if Tim and Depp hit it off by talking about the first time depp stabbed a man.
10. We now know for certain, that Machine Code is a technical term for Death Jargon. On this episode we were just guessing.
11. It turns out Danny elfman is not a man, but rather an audio synthesizing robot. Tim DID manage to tell us what D.A.N.N.Y. is an acronym for, but until we re-interview him, we're barred from making it public.
12. Tim sees "Goth" as a derogative term. And goes as far as to say that his people prefer the term"Happy-Impartial"
13. Tim uses corrosive substances on his face, daily. And has his own brand of hair gel. Unhappiness Hair Gel™. All of his clothes are tailor made. And he even shares a fashion tip. His secret is to have a buckle on every oriface.

Tim would like to retract the statements that he in fact killed 2 people. He didn't. So we've got to stop saying he did. Not that we ever did say he did... It was him that said it.

14. Tim wouldnt be where he is today, if it weren't for the grizzly horrible well publicized demise of the 2 people he DIDN'T kill... (you'll notice here when i finally say 'demise' I immediately laugh. I couldn't contain myself from such a silly thing to say, and we tried cutting it as closely as we possibly could to the word demise without cutting that word as well... you can still hear a bit. I think its funnier with it anyway.)

every time we interview someone, at the end, it's <insert name> Everybody! and then the other person cheers.

Phew, thats it for the Tim Burton interview.

We're now onto the exclusive audio trailer for Alice in Wonderland. Turns out Leonidas kicked her down that rabbit hole. Oh yeah, and it's rated "Uc" (Universal for Children)

The final segment doesn't really have jokes in it, It's just Prime and RayG discussing what game they were playing mostly during that week. But we do end the show with the epic "Shadow of the Phoenix" trailer, which in itself is a fallacy... Phoenix's can't have shadows, they're made of fire, and fire is bright.

At the very end, we discuss how we think the podcast went. And RayG comments that Tim Burton is one of the few people to have become a better person from killing his parents...

But he didn't really, right?

I think the joke list will be a lot easier to define for episode 2 onwards, because those were clearly written out and had a reason for using them, the first episode was trying to be more like a "real" podcast we didnt THINK of anything other than the Tim burton interview and that was pretty much a shoot interview as well.

Hope it's been entertaining and I hope it's made a bit more sense READING some of these jokes. One of the main pieces of feedback from the VGEvo members when we released this episode was that we were difficult to understand, we spoke too fast for some people.

So, until next time.

Prime

[Primebuster]

Episode 2: Peter Molyneux's Insides...

The jingle goes:

DownToForit X
Is inside Peter Molyneux
Conducting an Interview
Just for me and you!

This episode is essentially a rip-off of fantastic voyage and innerspace.

The first joke is our infamous "List" joke, that's made an appearance in many later episodes. True to reality, RayG is a Tea-o-holic. One of the time's I was over at his house he offered me a drink. I asked what kind of tea he had, he took a deep breath and the rest is history.

Dragon fable sucks. (Peter molyneux continuously changed his mind) "That's proposterous, but... yes of course."



A chip buttie is essentially a sandwich full of "chips" (thick fries, almost like thin potato wedges.) Peter molyneux's fave sandwich is the salt buttie. A sandwich full of salt. It could kill a normal man. But Peter is not normal.

We introduce our D2FX computer next. With the personality of a smarmy australian. This computer is a jerk.

Peter molyneux exclaims "Oh, wow, they have one salt buttie left. Mmmmmmmm!" and while he chews "Sooooo saltyyyy!"

The tune that plays in the background is from advent children, when Cloud fights Bahamut.

Our vehicles always seem to be made out of junk.

Well, we've laded inside peter molyneux, it has tons of creatures roaming inside (all voiced by yours truly, including the bee gees). As RayG explains; "Peter is host to seven different ecospheres. Each representing a different part of his psyche."

14.5 mins until we resize. we actually recorded this line last, its 100% accurate.

RayG makes me run off and explore peter. Turns into a small nature documentary. He's the 2nd most interesting man I've been inside.

Introducing the MANK™ bar! A bar made of Tar, Peanut butter and emulsifiers. This was a joke about sponsorship. It was funny. It's Tar Magnifique!

The door to molyneux' brain chamber. Inside is a technical wizardry yet to be seen on earth. Theres a switch there that provokes peter into assuming responsability for creating Dogs. This beast chases me:



The next joke was about text adventures. The terrible weeping man makes his first appearance. he killed me. The door joke was about how you can never find the right adjective to perform an action.

The next joke was ripping off the movie "Alien". But instead of the alien, its the dog. RayG tries to calm me down by telling me a story. essentially the story of Alien. It doesnt help.

RayG is sitting playing professor layton (as usual) and (as usual) gets the puzzle wrong. I cant believe the airlock door was SO slow at opening.

Turns out we were after gold all along. Ben-K doesnt like being robbed... RayG owes him money and we have gold. He's a space (loan)shark. we have to fight him. This is a battle is Gitarooman! After 3 waves, we win, barely. The computer ranks us with a C+... (prinny can i really be the hero level complete music plays)

The dog turns out to be really really nice... to RayG. But it turns out RayG was wrong!

It's a mad dog ready to explode.

we land in peter's ear canal. listen to what I say. This was pure coincidence.

"its all sticky...
wheres my psp?
you dont even have your tea!
you dont even have your tea!
wheres my psp?
its all sticky in here..."

as RayG points out, its not all bad. (flips open his DS and gets another puzzle wrong.)

so which exit? the left ear, the right ear? or the final front ear?
ear today, gone tomorrow.
ear we go!

Tim Burton plugs our show, he performed the perfect crime dont ya know?

The one drawback to performing an interview inside someone is that it ends up sounding like you've plugged your ears.

We were also asked to plug Fable 3 since we got the interview...

Don't forget the dog!

[hedges1001]

man the benK battle is the toughest gitaroo man level evarrr

[Primebuster]

Scene 1: Clovenstone incident 225729. Property of U.S. Government. Casefile 7852A... B... What follows is the only remains of the Clovenstone Catastrophe (typewriter sound effects to mimmick resident evil 1)

We begin in our official D2FX apache journalism helicopter, RayG begins telling us how the podcast will end. "DoomedToForit X"

Turns out all the other podcasters who try to cover the convention disappear. Theyre "apparently eaten".

the australasian gamer, the over-imbibed gamer and the smarty-pants gamer (you can probably figure out who they are) have all been found dead.

The town of clovenstone (it's a real place) was founded on an actual clovenstone, brought back by the knights templars and buried 500 feet below sea-level in a box filled with salt. The stone itself is physically onyx made entirely of arcane energy.


"apparently" sadako is scared of the clovenstone. I dont believe it though. What IS true is that you can't get to clovenstone of your own free will, the town itself has to either call you spiritually or physically invite you in.

The dark hour chimes and our pilot turns into a coffin...

"DownToForit X
Is in clovenstone,
I'm sure it'll be alright,
but I'm not quite sure..."

Philbert Mesker is our correspondant at the convention, and overall super-nice guy.

The hiking through the woods got me thinking... Why did our pilot turn into a coffin?

it turns out the answer is very simple. There happens to be a hidden extra hour in the day that all ordinary people are unaware of called the "dark hour" an extra hour hidden between midnight and 1am, a 25th hour of the day, you might say. Ordinary people turn into coffins for the duration, and abnormal people stay the same and see all the events of the hour unfold.

easy. Turns out a coffin up a tree is probably a kid who was climbing a tree. same with a coffin near a jackhammer being a construction worker... RayG was mum on what 2 coffins sitting on top of one-another meant though. I still need to find out.

Scene 2: "They escaped into the mansion where they thought it would be safe..."

Wow, this games convention has been going for ages.. 43rd annual? dayum. Sir Roger Clovenstone the third is our awesome host.

The clovenstone games convention this year certainly has some triple A bombshell's up it's sleeve. Mini ninja's and the preview for Eyepet? Hell yes! PAX has nothing on it.

Of course, my mind wanders... I'd personally like to see the clovenstone.

That sleazeball Optimus from DoonFir2Up'n'Kick podcast tries to steal my thunder by asking a pitiful question. I fire back with a roundhouse of a question. He tries in vain to counter with a question on cloning but we all know thats pathetic and he challenges ME to street fighter? Lucky for him Sir Clovenstone is having none of this nonsense.

our thoughts:
Batman was awesome.
Mini Ninjas we didnt get to play.
RayG played some WII sports resort just to get some squidgy ice cream for signing up.
Eyepet was absolute bollox
The guitar hero contest was pish.

"DownToForit X - The podcast with the mostcast."

We were all thinking it. This is total crap, so we speculate the capability of Eyepet. Luckily, before we get too graphic, Philbert finds us!

He asks us if we want some free triple A passes, which we certainly must have! He's such a nice guy! Always looking to cleanse the impure. Although philbert is a terribly nice guy, I always seem to get an itchy brain when he's near.

A stark contrast from what was in the basic convention, the behind the scenes stuff just plain rocked. Here's just a few things we seen:

• Controllers and consoles made of food
• Digital distribution for all those dweebs that hate UMD
• MicroSoft no longer exists, and the Xbox is finally in capable hands
• Nintendo giving up on anti-piracy battles and becoming a non-profit company that just gives games away
• Sony reporting profitability on PS3
• Tim Schafer selling out to become big-time
• The atari jaguar comes back full force!
• Obscure 3rd party games become mainstream, RayG = extatic
• Final Fantasy VII remake announced!
• A new sonic game that doesnt suck
• finally games have their citizen kane moment... with a game of citizen kane.
• chocolate PS3's (overheating = fondu!)
• New rocket knight game on the DS and a new Silent Hill game
• Hideo Kojima quits konami and starts making movies... of metal gear solid.
• free "kick peter molyneux in the nads"
• phil harrison crowned king of the universe by popular demand
• Duck Hunt HD on Nintendo's new console HDWii
• no more DRM ever
• richard garriot sets course for the center of the universe as people weep

Scene 3: "You're listening to D-D-D-DownToforit X" "Huh? what's a downtoforit x, like?"

I get a chocolate PS3, but RayG gets the best thing ever. It not only plays every game... It plays EveryTHING. WOW! Toilet break.

STAY AWAY FROM SIR CLOVENSTONE. HE'S A COMPLETE FREAAAAAK. he tried to 'whip it out'... O_o;;; Not only that... this place is totally changed.

cosplayers litter the halls.

RayG has a podcast on a jaguar cart... Smarty Pants Gamer. from... 1969?! what the hell? david perry, peter molyneux, tim schafer and hideo kojima comprise the confab. They chat about emergent gameplay, design philosophy and sound engineering.

David Perry always needs to hog the spotlight and Tim Schafer single handedly fought a whole war just for Kojima. Doesnt stop him being chainsawed.

the show ends abruptly. I dont like schafer's odds. Especially with Brutal Legend out in a few weeks.

"beedla baddla boodla baa!"

Somethin wierd is going on. We need to find Sir Clovenstone.

Mesker is standing over clovenstone's naked fainted (forever) body with a knife. He abruplty disappears and RayG figures out that the clovenstone is all that is evil in this place. we need to stop it!

RayG also deduces (somehow) that we need to take the elevator (by using the golden crest) to the basement and retrieve it from the safe, under lock and key.

RayG is slaving away over a grand piano, playing Moonlight Sonata. Pfft, obviously he hasn't played resident evil. The easier way is to take the shotgun off the wall.

ooops. maybe not.

what a time to lose my grip on the gun and lose my nerves.

luckily I manage to put the shotgun back just in time. RayG needs to get on with his piano playing, so he tells me to watch some TV.

I love advertisements for new drama style cop shows. Fred The Zombie detective is no exception! (Tank! Intro theme from Cowboy Bebop plays in background)

RayG wants to watch his own TV show, RayG reviews tea. So vain... He probably thinks his show is about him. Rose black tea is reviewed this time.

Scene 4: "DownToFREAKIN X!"

We think of a flawless plan. Unfortunately, it's flawed. Everything is in order, except RayG wants to stab the clovenstone with a shiv. If you have any experience at all with mystic arcane trinkets or artefacts. A shiv is the last thing you want to use. RayG can't seem to understand why. To be honest, the shiv is great, and its not a problem that he has one. But to use it on the clovenstone would probably unleash a far worse off catastrophe than we can ever predict.

a menacing siren with static and chaotic latin singing isnt exactly gonna put me at ease. I hate elevators as it stands. But musak is certainly something i cannot stand... especially while being slapped by RayG. Six days later, I snap.

it's a relief to get out of there. Wow! Mesker is here! Such a nice guy and he also has the clovenstone for us. Mesker shoots a volley of possibly 7 million bullets at RayG, almost hitting him. I distract him with the old monkey island trick. Thats when RayG stabs him in the heart via the clovenstone with the shiv.

A nuke goes off.

We're dead.

We roll a fantastic trailer for the next episode. We also like to think episode 4 lived up to the fans expectations, based on this ad.

ooh... whats this? the smarty pants gamer?

[NintendoLegend]

Heh, inside-joke tracking. Neat idea. Might have to incorporate something like this for our podcast...

[Primebuster]

Going to have to get back onto this, to be honest. There's so much in each episode to mention.